Bang bang bagity bang: Year Ender on New Year’s Eve

I am ending the year thinking that I’m a lolcat (which drew outrage from everybody, animal rights activists included). This year is a special year for me. I launched this blog on April and weeks later, the Boss…well, I don’t know how to put it but the previous posts should tell you what happened.

It’s also a bit of a sad year for me. Two of my boyz left to work abroad, presumably as engineers. Who knows, they could be working as whores there.

 The fourth quarter of last year has been really tough. I suffered one crash after another. I don’t know what went wrong that time. I just kept falling off my bike. I nearly broke my knee cap once and another time, I almost lost my left eye. “Almost” is really a lucky word. I rode more this year, rode harder. Discovered several trails and I am happy that I suffered no serious crash this year. Even the not serious ones are not even newsworthy. If I ever run out of luck next year, you are cordially invited to my funeral.

For the first time, I went beyond Metro Manila. The Manila-Baguio-Sagada-Vigan-Bangui trip will certainly be an exception to amnesia—for the destination as well as the length of the bus rides.

Siquijor is a paradise but not the attitude of the people towards tourists. Nonetheless, I will still say you ought to stay two days in the island before you die. The place is not creepy at all, PS. Camotes is where I jumped on and off the dive board. Except for the bike ride, I was all touristy in the place. The Boss and I really had a comfy accommodation at Mangodlong and we spent all the money we can on food. “Call me irresponsible.”

 Most of the travels we had (and by myself alone) are poorly researched. We relied on hunches, maps, and the kindness of other people. In Osmena Peak, I remember pointing to one direction then finding out later that Kawasan is on the other side. Lol me. It was great having Jonas and “James” with us.

I am writing from memory because I love the feel of these keyboards and I am too lazy to hit “alt + tab.” I met really great people this year. The bike friends have been around as always. I don’t want to make a wish list. Things have been happening to me and they are more than I could wish for. My last travel destination this year is that road trip to Aloguinsan with the Boss. In that town I met some of the nicest people I've met in my life.

I don’t write about the bad stuff in my blog. I think we have enough number of news channels to take care of that. But I’d like to send out my heart to people in Iligan and Cagayan who have been hit by the huge flood; and especially to people in a remote barangay in Bukidnon. The two bridges that serve as the lifeline of the barangay have been washed off. I watched that on ABC 5 News. My heart goes out to the flood victims of my hometown Bukidnon. May we make the best we can out of this new year.

***
I raced yesterday in Liloan. It was really frustrating. Two idiots kept blocking my way. At first I thought they were just idiots who did not know what they were doing. But later on I noticed that they were intentionally blocking my way. Those two morons. Nonetheless, I finished sixth. I was hoping for number 5. I was counting the guys that I could not beat and there were only four of them. 5th would have sounded better.

Photos courtesy of the Boss.

Chatting at the starting line. When you can't walk, you do the talk. nyahaha

Hell breaking loose. Too bad I was at the end.

With Kulas. He had a tough time with the bald tire but he still finished one lap ahead of me. Yes, LAP.

Lolcat in da haus.

I was 11th at the first lap. Had my break when the screeners died down.

I don't even want to think about this week's laundry.

Ang but-an na Kuya. nyahaha. He is here on Christmas vacation. He'll be back in Bukidnon soon.

Yes, 6th is a loser. I'm a happy loser, at least.

Had a lot work with my hair that day.

Bojo River Tour: I'm a LOL Cat

LOL cats are very cute and I'd like to think I'm one of them. LOL. That's why I was all about making myself look cute when we went to Aloguinsan. Spare me this time. I rarely do self-praise. I think about myself so rarely that I am on the verge of forgetting my name. Anyway, this is part II of the Aloguinsan road trip the Boss and I had. Someone advised me nobody cares what I think and people only want directions. There's no need to give a lot of directions here. I uploaded a very huge map of Aloguinsan. That should get you to Bojo River. I did not read the full terms of use for Google Maps. I just hope I don't get a lawsuit one of these days. LOL Cats don't like fines. Bojo River, Aloguinsan, Cebu: Photos courtesy of the Boss. I sometimes call her "chicken." She eats chicken everyday. For her, coffee and chicken are synonymous with breathing.

I'm a Genetic Mutation

Remember Yuri’s Revenge game? Yuri Camp’s second superpower is the ability to turn living “items” (dogs included) into overly-muscular half-naked gray humanoids that talk like Frankenstein. When I want to do a slow kill, I would purchase a huge army of dogs and soldiers.

Their number would double since Yuri has a cloning machine. (We have the in the Philippines but so far our cloning is limited to DVDs and values.) Going back, yes I would at times end a game of Red Alert 2 with a 300-strong army of Frankies. Not even the French cannon or the closely networked prisms could stop them. Bring out all your GI’s, snipers, tanks, thunder storms, pill boxes, Tesla towers—sheer number is unstoppable.

That’s quite a long premise but that’s a pseudo-premise actually (bazinga). That’s more of a tactical tip for people who are already winning a game but still want to use some tactics. These are people who do not just go for the kill. These are people who go for murder.

 I am prompted to entitle this post thus because I foresee that somewhere in the future, a beauty pageant would go by the line of: “If you would genetically mutate, what would you become and why?” Real genetic mutation does not involve instant morphing but let us pretend that we are in a poorly researched sci-fi show.

If I were to answer that question, I would say I would mutate from being a man to a whore, which makes me a man-whore. But being already that, I proudly claim that I am a genetic mutation.

***

That’s long premise within another long and senseless premise. This post is not even remotely related to genetic mutation, save for the fact that somewhere within the text is a man-whore. This is a two-part series, because it’s Christmas and it’s the time of marathons. This is the road trip part, the second one will be the Bojo River tour in Aloguinsan. I and the Boss went into a sort-of long trip to Aloguinsan.

We did not take the direct route instead went through Trans-central Highway. It’s a mountain pass, in case you do not know yet. And like any other mountain passes, it was full of bends and fun. We rode a Honda XR. It's a 200cc dirt bike. We went home via Manipis. Our ride profile is here, courtesy of Google Maps.
 

My Auldey Mini 4-Wheel Drive

About 11 years ago, people went crazy over mini 4-wheel drives because of the manga show Bakuso Kyodai Let's and Go. Well, it was partly because of it. But what really drew people to it, I think, it the customizability and the speed of these 4wd racers.

This got to be my favorite toy of all time. If you look at its structure, you will know what I mean (well, you would know because most 4wd's are not pre-assembled, you have to build them yourself unless you settle for being a loser and buy a built one).

A 4wd has a very basic structure: it has a dynamo for power, tires (you know what tires are for, right?), cogs and rods to transfer dynamo power to the tires, rollers so it can cruise through bends, and a chassis to hold the thing together. Then there's the top which gives the 4wd its looks. Its simplicity is just overwhelming.

***

Several days ago the Boss and I went to SM to watch a movie. Before we reached the theatre we passed by Toy Kingdom and I decided to take a look inside. And there it was at the far shelf to the right, one of the best things of my childhood. The stocks are low-end Auldey 4WDs, sold for P 149. It's for starter level alright but it does not matter. I'm in for the idea of the toy and not for competition.

It took me 40 minutes to transform the random bits of plastic, cogs, and rods into a working-rolling-running-into-everything toy. That was a lot of time alright but I was nostalgic with every bit I've put into place.

The movie I watched with the Boss sucked big time. I wanted to poke my eyes half-way through. I wished Immortals would redeem its lousy plot and characters though special effects but it did not. Give me Riki-Oh any day.

This mini 4WD saved my night, the way Powerpuff Girls save the day. I am happy we stopped by at the toy store for no reason at all.









I first assembled this as a four-wheel drive to live up to its name. But I removed the four-wheel drive rod because I enjoy seeing it skid before it takes off. My first 4WD (I was in grade school then) was designed with its dynamo at the front. It's called the FM chassis. I will buy one once I've saved up.