Football sunday

Diego Maradona bragged about the kill-all-who-get-in-the-way work ethic of his team by saying, “I have 23 wildcats prepared to leave their skin on the pitch.” Well, in our football field in Consolacion, you really don’t have to be that die-hard to leave your skin on the pitch. You do that every time you dive for a save or fall off after a tackle.

Footballers and retards: they have a lot in common

There were grass but only outside the playing area and that’s not where you really get to play some football. The field is mostly covered with small stones, which were placed intentionally to keep the place from turning into swamp (making mud cakes is not really the specialty of football players). Did I say the goals have no net and you have to bully someone every now and then to get the ball?

But you’ll like playing there nonetheless. First off, not too many people are there. You can go there on Sunday afternoons and still not expect to see many kids play. Second, the people I’ve been with so far were really nice and helpful and they teach you without bragging how great they are. That’s what you get from people who are assured of themselves. They don’t alienate you or make you feel as insecure as them.

There are times when, no matter what you do, you just can't hit the back of the net.

The football field is near the public market of Consolacion, Cebu. There I learned one of life’s greatest lessons: Playing football involves being scolded by kids 12 years younger than. On my part, I got the rant for a deliberate handball during a 9-a-side game. That’s when they decided that since the ball is magnetically attracted to my hands I should play keeper (but really, it is out of my inability to play honest defense that I use my hands).

Being a keeper is a bad idea, especially if you are playing against people who have 300-pound thighs and you are not wearing gloves. It was a lesson learned in the way that you don’t want to learn any lesson. Diego, I also left some skin on the ball.

How to look real ugly as a keeper

Just so you wouldn’t find fault about this entry, it’s under my outdoor guy blog because this blog is about everything you do outdoors. If I see some really gory roadkill, I’d post it here because peeking into some business that is not yours is one outdoor thing you can do. (Seriously I won’t. You don’t want to be photographed while your skull is all over the place. Besides, you can feed your desire to feel better by seeing the misery of others somewhere else.)

I digress a lot. So did my shots this afternoon (and most of the shots in my lifetime). At 16 you could be a top-flight player earning more in a month what an honest office worker does in his lifetime. That’s how it is in Serie A, the Premiership, and La Liga. In the Philippines, you can be 22 and not know yet how to pass the ball and still sound so smart by writing about football.

Gayness -- you just can't hide it